Hey there, drinkers!
We’re still in summer mode here at BAAM and we’re getting ready to celebrate the 4th of July! And what better way than to drink a relaxing wheat beer and watching a 90’s slasher film that, for no apparent reason takes place on Independence Day? I can’t think of any better alternatives. None whatsoever. Let’s begin!
Ful disclosure: I’m generally not one for the slasher genre. I find them a bit dull, predictable and not particularly scary. And I think it’s safe to say that the annoyingly titled 1997 slasher film I Know What You Did Last Summer fits the bill quite well. After a night of irresponsible underage drinking and pre-marital sex, four teens accidentally hit some dude with their car. Logically, they decide to dump him off a pier rather than notify the police and ruin their upcoming college careers. Let’s take a moment to note that this film takes place in the wealthiest and whitest, small fishing town in the United States. Fact.
Anyway, a year later, a hook-wielding killer comes to town to exact his revenge. The film does a pretty good job of concealing the identity of the killer, throwing the audience off by killing of our top suspects pretty quickly. However, all this clever planning collapses when (SPOILER ALERT) it turns out that the killer is really just the random guy they hit the year before. Surprise! But let’s talk about why we really watch slashers: the kills. Unfortunately, the deaths in this film are neither too gruesome or inventive. Obviously, it’s still not a great movie to show your kids but you know what I mean. The most gruesome and graphic death is the first kill and all the other ones are pretty boring or implied (re: off screen). For the most part, they are all variations of “Person gets stabbed with hook. Unfortunate death ensues.” Oh and I haven’t even mentioned the dialogue yet. Ryan Phillippe’s improbably named character, Barry, violently snaps between douchebag and rage while Freddie Prinze Jr. and Jennifer Love Hewitt read stock romantic lines like “I understand your pain.”
Okay so maybe some of you have a soft spot for this movie. I know a lot of people from my generation grew up with slashers like I Know What You Did Last Summer and Scream, but that doesn’t make them good movies. Yeah sure, the film is mildly entertaining in a mindless sort of way, but there have to be better slashers out there that are more satisfying in their dialogue and their deaths.
…okay so maybe not so much with the dialogue, but maybe they must have other redeeming qualities.
And our summer slasher beer? Tonight we tried San Francisco-based Anchor Brewing’s Summer Wheat, a nice attempt at a simple light beer with a little bit of wheat body. I say attempt on purpose though. To be honest, I found the flavor of this beer to be a little lacking. That well-known wheat flavor from beers we love like Blue Moon was mostly absent. In its place was just a mild graininess that I did not find particularly satisfying. Simply put, it was kind of plain. I hate to say it, knowing that Anchor Brewing makes so many other great beers, but this Summer Wheat lacked that distinctive wheaty flavor and didn’t back it up with enough of a malt character. Instead, you get a light and mild beer that is easy to drink but not particularly satisfying. Sorry folks.
So that’s it! Our summer continues as we get ready for the 4th with a little blood and beer. However, it hurts me to say that the combo wasn’t too fulfilling. I Know What You Did Last Summer comes off mostly as an excuse to have pretty people on screen (just like any other self-respecting summer movie) while Anchor’s Summer Wheat fails to stand up to the other heavy hitters of the wheat beer world.
Stay tuned later this week, because I hope to get out a 4th of July special that may or may not actually come out on the 4th. We’ll see?
Either way, keep drinking my friends.
I Know What You Did Last Summer
-Classic slasher setup
-Uninspired kill scenes
-People wore funny clothes in the 90’s